245 - How to Be a Polite, Eloquent Guest

If you've been reading my lessons for any length of time, you'll know that I love talking about casual Japanese.

This is partly because I'm a very casual person, and partly because it was so hard for me to find learning resources for casual Japanese.

But no matter how much you love having laid-back, casual conversations, there will come times when you really should use classic, stiff Japanese.

Times when the inability to speak politely can make you look like a fool. Or worse, make you seem rude.

So let's がんばる and take a look at some Japanese that you will almost certainly need if you live in Japan for a long time (and are actually interacting with Japanese people and not living in a gaijin bubble): Visiting someone's home for a meal.

Specifically, we're looking at language you can use when visiting the home of someone you don't know too well. This could be the home of a friend of a friend, a coworker, a boss, a teacher, etc.

In other words, this is very polite Japanese.

Also, though I rarely recommend this, I think you should just memorize each of these phrases as is. If you wind up in a Japanese home for a meal, they'll make you look polite and well-spoken... which is the adult way of looking cool, by the way.


The second you pass through someone's front door, you should say:

おじゃまします。
おじゃま します。
[Greeting used when entering someone's home.]
Literally: "hindrance / intrusion + do."
Note: If I really had to translate this into English, I guess I'd put something like "Thank you for having me." Realistically, though, there is no good translation in English.

Though this lesson is looking at polite Japanese, you should still say おじゃまします when entering the home of a very close friend. I can't count how many times I've walked into a friend's house, forgot to say anything, then heard one of our mutual friends walk in behind me and say おじゃまします... which left me looking pretty lame and impolite.

On another note, you should absolutely learn the word 邪魔 (じゃま // hindrance; intrusion). Aside from being useful with an お on the front of it in these polite situations, it can also be used in a variety of other situations. For example:

邪魔するな!
じゃま する な!
Don't interfere! // Get out of my way!
Literally: "hindrance / intrusion + do + な."
Note: For example, if I'm in a fight to the death with my arch-nemesis, and I'm about to issue the killing blow... only to have my friend step in and try to stop me, then I might scream in a violent rage that he better not be a 邪魔.

Uhh... I think I was supposed to be teaching fancy, polite Japanese.

My bad. Let's get back on track...


The first thing you'll do in a house is step into the 玄関 (げんかん // entryway). It looks like this:

Be sure to take off your shoes before stepping up into the house!

If they have sets of (simple, identical) slippers sitting out, then you can use a pair of slippers. A lot of homes will not have slippers for guests, though.


Anyways, after you step into the house, you could say...

すてきなおうちですね。
すてき な おうち です ね。
You have such a nice [lovely] house. // This is such a nice home (you have).
Literally: "lovely + home + ですね."

There are few things in this world as wonderful as a well-placed compliment. I'm hoping to someday become a master at complimenting people, at finding their unique, amazing qualities, then bringing them to the surface in words, showing someone that I'm paying attention, that I see how he or she is a special, incredible human.

But if I can't think of stuff like that, I can always fall back on, "Nice house, dude." Or maybe, "Cool shirt, bruh."


It's unlikely that every person living in a family home will be present at the exact moment that you enter the home. Someone might be in the kitchen, their bedroom, etc.

As such, you may need to make multiple greetings during a visit. For example,if your coworker's kids come in a few minutes after you've arrived, you can say:

こんにちは、おじゃましてます。
こんにち は、 おじゃま してます。
Hello. Thank you for having me.
Literally: "hello, + hindrance / intrusion + am doing."
Note: Since the speaker is already inside of the home (i.e. is not walking through the doorway), we use ~して(い)ます, the present progressive tense, NOT ~します, the present/future tense.

Oh yeah, and let's use polite language with the kids, too. There are few things kids hate more than being treated like kids.


Since your gracious host is giving you lots of refreshing drinks, it won't be long before you need to use the restroom.

But you don't know where it is!

So you say...

お手洗い借りていいですか?
おてあらい かりて いい ですか?
Could I use your restroom?
Literally: "restroom [=hand + wash] + borrow (and) + good + ですか?"
Note: "te-form with (も)いいですか? is a formation used for asking permission to do something. We've seen it before, I believe.


The food comes out (finally!).

Before you take your first bite, you remember to say:

いただきます。
Thank you for the meal.
Literally: "(humbly) receive."
Note: For more about this word, check out this article.


Chances are, one of your hosts prepared this meal.

Even if you hate it, be sure to say:

どれもすごくおいしいです。
どれも すごく おいしい です。
Everything is (so) delicious.
Literally: "every (one) + amazingly + delicious."


Later, when you finish eating, you can say:

ごちそうさまでした。おいしかったです。
ごちそうさま でした。 おいしかった です。
Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.
Literally: "I was treated to a feast. + was tasty + です."

This phrase would also be appropriate when you're leaving your host's home, not just at the exact moment you finish eating.

Finally, when you're saying goodbye to the host, you can say:

おじゃましました。
おじゃま しました。
Thank you for having me.
Literally: "hindrance / intrusion + did."


That's it for today. Now you're ready to roll into a Japanese home with the class and eloquence of a diplomat. Although I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to mess up your Japanese during the other parts of the dinner. ^_^

Have fun, and good luck finding some of those nice, hospitable Japanese families to welcome you into their homes.

Complete and Continue  
Discussion

0 comments