Number Torture:

一、二、三、四、五、六、七、八、九、十、十一、十二
いち、に、さん、し、ご、ろく、しち、はち、きゅう、じゅう、じゅういち、じゅうに
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

十二、十一、十、九、八、七、六、五、四、三、二、一
じゅうに、じゅういち、じゅう、きゅう、はち、なな、ろく、ご、よん、さん、に、いち
12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

一つ、二つ、三つ、四つ、五つ、六つ、七つ、八つ、九つ
ひとつ、ふたつ、みっつ、よっつ、いつつ、むっつ、ななつ、やっつ、ここのつ
1 (thing), 2 (things), 3 (things), 4 (things), 5 (things), 6 (things), 7 (things), 8 (things), 9 (things)

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Lesson Goodness:

Yeah, culture and history are cool when traveling, but does anything compare to the glory of gluttonous indulgence in food, food, food?

I think not, fellow traveler.

So let's go to some restaurants.

When you stroll into a restaurant, or just about any type of shop, everybody will yell:

いらっしゃいませ！
Welcome!

In response to this, you should say: Absolutely nothing. ^^

If you go into a particularly casual establishment, there is a small likelihood that you will hear the shortened version of this:

いらっしゃい！
Welcome!

They tend to be pretty formal in the customer service industry in Japan, so you're less likely to hear this. Sometimes those ramen chefs are pretty laid-back, though.

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If it's the type of restaurant where you need to be seated, you'll likely be asked something like this:

何名様ですか？
なんめいさま　です　か？
How many are in your party?
Literally: “how many (honorable) people + です + か?”

Let's break down this phrase:

何 (what)
名 ([(somewhat formal) suffix for counting people])
様 ([honorific suffix])
です ([copula] [i.e. "is"])
か ([question-ending particle])

Wait. Doesn't 名 mean "name?" Yeah, in other contexts, it does.

Here you can assume that 名 means "person." Or, if you're like me, you can think that it's fun that "what-name-sama" means "How many people?"

If you want to count people, memorize these, instead:

何人（なんにん // how many people）
一人（ひとり // one person）
二人（ふたり // two people）
三人（さんにん // three people）
四人（よにん // four people）
五人（ごにん // five people）
六人（ろくにん // six people）
七人（ななにん // seven people）
八人（はちにん // eight people）
九人（きゅうにん // nine people）
十人（じゅうにん // ten people）
十一人（じゅういちにん // eleven people）

Ew, numbers. Let's go back to travel language.

I said that the person greeting you will likely say:

何名様ですか？
なんめいさま　です　か？
How many are in your party?
Literally: “how many (honorable) people + です + か?”

But it's also possible that they'll say:

何名様でしょうか？
なんめいさま　でしょう　か？
How many are in your party?
Literally: “how many (honorable) people + でしょう + か?”

Notice the difference?

ですか？ → でしょうか？

Using でしょう instead of です here sounds a bit softer... which I suppose we could in turn say means that it has a more formal ring to it.

Does this matter for you? Probably not. The specific phrase that you are greeted with when you enter a restaurant depends on a lot of things, like the region of Japan you're in, the generation of the speaker, or even just the degree to which the speaker understands how to use extremely polite language — namely, 尊敬語 (そんけいご // honorific language) and 謙譲語 (けんじょうご // humble language).

Do a bit of googling in Japanese and you'll find lots of articles listing common keigo mistakes (敬語 [けいご] is the blanket term for "polite language").

Anyway, let's say that you're greeted with:

何名様ですか？
なんめいさま　です　か？
How many are in your party?
Literally: “how many (honorable) people + です + か?”

Let's imagine two things: (1) you actually studied that "numbering people" list I introduced earlier and (2) there are three people in your party.

You might answer by saying:

三人です。
さんにん　です。
Three people.
Literally: “three people + です.”

I wouldn't say anything, though. I'd just hold up three fingers.

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🚬 Smoking 🚭

Depending on the establishment you've entered, you may be asked some version of this:

おタバコは吸われますか？
おタバコ　は　すわれます　か？
Will you be smoking?
Literally: “tobacco / cigarettes + は + are smoked + か?”

If you've been studying a bit of Japanese, you might wonder why the above sentence wasn't:

おタバコは吸いますか？
おタバコ　は　すいます　か？
Will you be smoking?
Literally: “tobacco / cigarettes + は + smoke + か?”

The answer is that the passive form of verbs is used in honorific language when referring to the actions of some honorable person. If you want to nerd out on this grammar, go here: [NDL #602] - JLPT N4: ～られる ([honorific passive]).

People still smoke in a lot of restaurants in Japan, and a lot of restaurants and coffee shops have dedicated smoking areas. Some izakaya will even have no non-smoking areas. I don't smoke, but I got used to this after living in Japan for a couple of years. It may have helped that a lot of my friends liked to smoke when we were out at izakaya.

Whenever I have friends or family visit from the US, though, they complain. If you think you might dislike sitting in the smoking section, you would do well to remember this answer to the previous question:

いえ、吸わないです。
いえ、　すわない　です。
No, we [I] won’t be smoking.
Literally: “no, + not smoke + です.”

Or you could say:

いえ、吸いません。
いえ、　すいません。
No, we [I] won’t be smoking.
Literally: “no, + don't smoke.”

If you can't remember all that, but you still manage to catch that you're being asked if you're smoke, just say いえ, "no." Or just shake your head. They'll get the message. If you want to be overtly clear, you could even make a ✕ sign by crossing your two index fingers.

But what if I do want to smoke?

Say:

はい、吸います。
はい、　すいます。
Yes, we’ll [I’ll] be smoking.
Literally: “yes, + smoke.”

Or just はい, "yes."

If they don't ask you whether you smoke — maybe because they assume a non-Japanese person wouldn't understand them anyway — and they take you to the smoking section, you could say:

禁煙席はありますか？
きんえんせき　は　あります　か？
Do you have any non-smoking seats?
Literally: “non-smoking seat + は + there is / have + か?”

Or if you want to smoke, but you have not been taken to the smoking section, try:

喫煙席はありますか？
きつえんせき　は　あります　か？
Do you have any smoking seats?
Literally: “smoking seat + は + there is / have + か?”

Or if you want to smoke, but you're not sure if you're allowed to, you can say:

タバコ吸っても大丈夫ですか？
タバコ　すっても　だいじょうぶ　です　か？
Is it all right if I smoke?
Literally: “tobacco / cigarettes + even if (I) smoke + OK + です + か?”

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I'm throwing sentences at you left and right.

Are you getting overwhelmed?

Let's review the smoking-related vocab:

(Note: Technically the verb 吸う [すう] means "to inhale; to breathe in," but when paired with something like タバコ, "tobacco; cigarettes," it will mean "to smoke.")

タバコ（たばこ // tobacco; cigarettes）

吸う（すう // to smoke）

吸われます（すわれます // be smoked; smoke (honorific)）

吸います（すいます // smoke）

吸わないです（すわないです // not smoke; don't smoke）

吸いません（すいません // not smoke; don't smoke）

吸っても（すっても // even if [one] smokes）

喫煙（きつえん // smoking）

喫煙席（きつえんせき // smoking seat）

禁煙（きんえん // non-smoking; No Smoking; Smoking Prohibited）

禁煙席（きんえんせき // non-smoking seat）

あります（あります // there is; have）

大丈夫（だいじょうぶ // OK; all right）

Too. Much. Information.

Normally I'd say you should try to make the sentences above from memory using those words.

Uh, you're welcome to do that, but I want to talk about something else...

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While the host at a restaurant is showing you to your seat, it wouldn't be too odd to hear them say something along the lines of:

三名様ご案内致します。
さんめいさま　ごあんない　いたします。
I’ll show you three guests to your table.
Literally: “three (honorable) people + guide + (humbly) do.”
Note: 致します (いたします) is the humble form of します, "do."

One peculiar thing about the service industry in Japan is that it involves a lot of announcing what one is doing, will do, has done, etc.

Yeah, in English maybe it wouldn't be that odd to have a host say "I'll show you three guests to your table" or "I'll show you to your table." Or maybe just "Right this way." But these announcements are prolific in Japan.

For example, when paying somewhere, you might experience something like this from a customer service worker with good English:

You give them money 3,000 yen for the thing you're buying, which costs 2,200 yen.

The person announces, "I receive 3,000 yen!" Then they put that in the cash register and say, "I give you 800 yen change!"

It's probably a good thing to be so clear about how the money is being exchanged, but I find that translating this type of Japanese (for example, when I have to do so for work) is tricky. Some of the quirks of Japanese culture simply work better when they stay in the Japanese language and don't get put into English.

Anyway, we'll continue our restaurant adventures in the next travel lesson...