Whenever I write a daily Japanese lesson, I find myself getting distracted by the language's plethora of peculiarities.

That is, I want to tell you about way too many things, making my lesson long, convoluted, and never-ending. ^^

Like the other day, we started with:

得する
とくする
to make a profit; to benefit from; to get a good deal

When I went to write that lesson, I realized that I should also mention something about other readings/uses of the kanji 得, such as:

得る
える
to get; to acquire; to obtain; to procure

あり得る
ありうる・ありえる
to be possible; to be likely

あり得ない
ありえない
impossible

...so I wrote about those first.

Then towards the end of my lesson-writing adventure, I thought about how I should also share a term that is almost the opposite of 得する:

損する
そんする
to lose; to suffer harm

Then yesterday, writing that lesson, I wanted to explain today's lesson topic, which is 損なう (そこなう) ／ 損ねる (そこねる), but I didn't have time to do so.

For the initial stages of studying Japanese, it feels like you're trying to pack an overwhelming mountain of information into your brain.

Once you get a bit deeper into this language, though, it feels a bit like learning the ins and outs of an ancient labyrinth. There are so many connections via passages and secret tunnels, and the more of those you learn, the more fun it becomes to explore this place.

Bad analogy?

Well, if so, I guess that's appropriate, because we're looking at two verbs today that deal with failing to do things:

損なう
そこなう
to harm; to damage; to fail in doing

損ねる
そこねる
to harm; to miss out, despite wanting to do

As far as I can tell, these two verbs are completely identical in meaning and are interchangeable. I've yet to find something that convinces me otherwise, but I'm on the case.

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OK. Let's start with the straightforward usages, which are "to harm" or "to damage."

For example:

喫煙はあなたの健康を損なうおそれがあります。
きつえん　は　あなた　の　けんこう　を　そこなう　おそれ　が　あります。
Smoking may be harmful to your health.
Literally: "smoking + は + you + の + health + を + damage + concern + が + there is."
Note: For example, this might be written on a box of cigarettes. Also, the phrase "VERB + おそれがある" should be learned as a set. It comes after verbs and means something like, "may VERB." 恐れ (おそれ) means "fear; anxiety; concern."

↑ See that note? This is what I'm talking about. I could write an entire lesson on that. Maybe 2 or 3 lessons. I know that might sound overwhelming, but once you get to a higher level, it's just exciting.

誕生日を忘れたせいで親友の機嫌を損ねてしまった。
たんじょうび　を　わすれた　せい　で　しんゆう　の　きげん　を　そこねてしまった。
I hurt my best friend's feelings because I forgot his birthday.
Literally: "birthday + を + forgot + fault + で + close/best friend + の + mood + を + harmed."
Note: I think the nuance of the Japanese is less emotional than "I hurt his/her feelings." But saying "I hurt his/her mood" sounds strange, and saying "I upset him/her" is a little off, too. Anyways, a somewhat literal translation would be, "I damaged my close friend's mood by forgetting about his/her birthday."

Note that each of these words, 損なう and 損ねる are being used pretty much the same way here.

Also, they are both coming after the particle を. This is because they are transitive verbs. In other words, they take a direct object:

A を B
A = direct object / noun
B = verb
を = object marker

健康を損なう
けんこう　を　そこなう
to harm one's health

機嫌を損ねる
きげん　を　そこねる
to harm one's mood/feelings

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Now let's level up.

The really cool thing about these verbs is that they can attach to the masu-stem of other verbs, like this:

(masu-stem of) VERB + 損なう／損ねる
＝ fail to VERB

For example, if we have

飲む（のむ // to drink）

The masu form is 飲みます (のみます).

That means the masu-stem is 飲み (のみ).

So this is what we attach 損なう／損ねる to:

飲み損なう ／ 飲み損ねる
のみそこなう ／ のみそこねる
to fail to drink; to miss out on drinking (something)

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Let's look at some examples...

終電に乗り損なってしまった。
しゅうでん　に　のりそこなってしまった。
I failed to get my last train.
Literally: "last train + に + failed to board / ride."

終電に乗り損ねてしまった。
しゅうでん　に　のりそこねてしまった。
I failed to get my last train.
Literally: "last train + に + failed to board / ride."

寝坊して朝食を食べ損なった。
ねぼう　して　ちょうしょく　を　たべそこなった。
I overslept, and I didn't get to eat breakfast.
Literally: "oversleeping + did (and) + breakfast + を + failed to eat."

寝坊して朝食を食べ損ねた。
ねぼう　して　ちょうしょく　を　たべそこねた。
I overslept, and I didn't get to eat breakfast.
Literally: "oversleeping + did (and) + breakfast + を + failed to eat."

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Stuff I can't explain.

Like most people teaching Japanese, I want to run and hide from what I'm about to talk about, because I can't explain it.

But that wouldn't really be fair to you, would it?

Say we have this phrase:

言い損なう
いいそこなう
to fail to say

...if you look this up in a dictionary, it will say that it means "to say by mistake."

The opposite meaning!

Also, if we have a verb like:

やり損なう
やりそこなう
to fail to do

...it can also mean "to do badly" or "to do wrong."

If we have:

書き損なう
かきそこなう
to fail to write

...it can also mean, "to write incorrectly."

It seems that this "dual usage" is only possible with verbs that require some sort of tact or skill.

Since you can't really "eat badly" or "eat wrong" (all manners aside), a verb like 食べ損なう does not run into this dual usage.

Anyways, I'm going to consult with my editor in Tokyo and see if he can explain this more clearly for me. If he drops fat knowledge bombs, I'll be sure to share. ^^