300 - Dating with Japanese
300 lessons!
Can you believe it? I certainly can't. And there were more than a few days where it felt absolutely impossible for me to write a lesson.
I mean, just look at this lesson: [NDL #82] - I simply cannot write a lesson today.
But somehow, we made it 300 lessons without missing a single day. This includes the few days Rei and I spent in Korea, moving to the US from Japan, then moving to Thailand from the US, and my recent 3-night stay in the hospital.
Success!
In commemoration of this great accomplishment, today's lesson is completely off-topic: It's about dating in Japanese!
The Invite
First way to get a girlfriend or boyfriend is to invite them out, right?
So maybe try rolling up to your sexy coworker and saying...
今度一緒に映画でも行かない？
こんど いっしょに えいが でも いかない？
Do you wanna go to a movie or something with me sometime?
Literally: "this time / another time + together + movie + or something (=でも) + won't go?"
Note: We use でも to soften the invite. The nuance is that we don't necessarily have to go to a movie. We could also go hiking, go to coffee--anything as long as you go out with me! \(*o*)/
I think that 今度 is one of the most difficult words to master in Japanese. Sometimes it means "this time," sometimes it means "next time," and sometimes (like here) it means "sometime (soon)" or "another time."
Like all difficult things, let's learn it through osmosis!
The Situation
Maybe before asking someone out, you could ask if they already have a significant other:
彼女いる？
かのじょ いる？
Do you have a girlfriend?
Literally: "girlfriend + there is?"
"Boyfriend," by the way, is 彼氏 (かれし).
The Almost-Boyfriend
What if you are seeing someone but you're not official?
If you like them, you might say...
今いい感じの人いるんだ。
いま いい かんじ の ひと いる んだ。
Right now I'm seeing someone that I have a good vibe with.
Literally: "now + good + feeling + の + person + there is + んだ."
Translating that sentence was really hard for me. I wanted to just write, "I have a feel-good person right now..." but I can think of at least two ways that could be horribly misinterpreted. ^^
Making It Official
The rules around courtship seem to be highly dependent on culture, and Japan is no exception.
For the first 20-something years of my life, in California, it was pretty rare to say something like, "Will you be my girlfriend?" Instead, relationships sort of just formed naturally. And at some point someone might say, "Are we official?"
Not so in Japan.
In Japan we like clear guidelines for everything. As such, you can't just expect a girl or guy to naturally become your boyfriend or girlfriend just because you're spending time together (although that is a possibility, especially for adults). It's common, instead, to make it official!
To do that, we say:
付き合ってください。
つきあって ください。
Will you be my girlfriend [boyfriend]?
Literally: "keep company with / go out with + please."
付き合う (つきあう) is a really confusing word, because it can also mean something like "keep company with." We'll need to use context to decipher which meaning we're intending.
For example, obviously I'm not asking the listener to be by girlfriend/boyfriend if I said something like:
みんな来るまで付き合ってくれない？
みんな くる まで つきあって くれない？
Will you keep me company until everyone gets here?
Literally: "everyone + come + until + keep company with + will you?"
Speaking of which, Adriana had a really funny example of this word back in [NDL #122] - Uh-huh, yeah!
She wrote...
A:
ねえ、付き合ってくれない？
ねえ、つきあって くれない？
Hey, wanna go out?
Literally: "Hey, + will you go along with me / go out with me / keep me company?"
Note: It could sound like this speaker wants to date the listener.
B:
えっ？
Whaaa? // Huh?
A:
コンビニまで！
To the convenience store!
Literally: "convenience store + until."
B:
ああ、うん！
Oh, yeah!
Telling All Your Friends
Forty-five seconds after you make it official with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, you simply must call your BFF and tell them about it:
きいて！彼氏できた！
きいて！ かれし できた！
Guess what! I got a boyfriend!
Literally: "listen! + boyfriend + made!"
The Breakup
Sadly, not all loves were meant to last.
So when you're ready to move on, drop this one on your unsuspecting lover:
もう別れよう。
もう わかれよう。
Let's break up.
Literally: "already + let's separate."
That's all for today. Thanks to all of those that read to the bottom of this email!
0 comments