11 - No Big Deal

So, Rei and I are pretty mellow people.

That's partly why in all of our photos, we're either...

(A) chilling with food, booze, and/or ice cream:

Or (B) just wandering around in some new, foreign place:

I guess our somewhat similar dispositions explains why we almost never fight.

Key word "almost."

Like all clueless males, I do have a proclivity to say stupid things that upset my significant other.

And--understandably, I suppose--she gets mad.

...which is today's Japanese: getting angry / mad.

So the verb for "to get angry" is 怒る (okoru).

But let's say that I did something stupid, then I said to Rei:

okotteru yo ne.
You're mad, aren't you?

This is a casual use of the (present progressive form of the?) verb 怒る (okoru).

In a class room they'll use 怒っています (okotte imasu), and they'll tell you that the casual form is 怒っている (okotte iru), but, as you can see in my example, in truly casual sentences it's also common to drop the い (i), as well.

Now, I've learned the hard way that if you make a girl angry, you should not say, "You're angry, huh."

Even more dangerous is saying something like:

You're mad at me.

This is the passive from of the verb 怒る (okoru), and the nuance is that I am the victim in all this. In other words, it's the last thing you should be saying to your significant other.

A much smarter thing to say is:

I upset you.

The causative form of the verb 怒る (okoru) is 怒らせる (okoraseru).

Putting it in past tense, we get 怒らせた (okoraseta).

Then we add ~てしまった (~te shimatta) to add the nuance that doing so was a mistake, was unintentional: 怒らせてしまった (okorasete shimatta).

Then we casual-ify this by shortening ~てしまった (~te shimatta) to just ~ちゃった (~chatta).

This is okay to say to your loved one, because it sounds like (1) this is all your fault, and (2) you didn't intend for this to happen.

You could even take it to the next level and apologize:

okorasechatte gomen ne.
Sorry for upsetting you.

(Note that we change た (ta) at the end of 怒らせちゃった (okorasechatta) to て (te), making it 怒らせちゃって (okorasechatte), then we just add ごめん (gomen), "sorry," and, if you want, ね (ne), which sort of just adds the nuance that you know I'm sorry.)

Are these conjugations making you cry yet?

If so, I have excellent news for you:

When I make these sentences, I'm not thinking about how to conjugate the verbs. Rather, I've heard (and said) these sentences so many times, that each conjugation just sounds like a separate word to me.

If you asked me to put some random verb into causative form, or passive form, or passive-causative form, or some other nightmare-inducing grammar construction--well, yeah, I could probably do it, but I'd have to think about it.

Now that I've gotten lots of speaking practice, though, my exposure to and experience of this language has increased to the point where I can talk "without thinking" too much.

...and that's how you get in trouble with the Mrs.

Bonus Phrases:

そんなに おこらないで よ。
Don't get so angry.
Literally: that much + don't be angry + yo

おこって います か?
Are you angry?
Literally: are angry + ka

かれ は おこって いる。
He's angry.
Literally: he + wa + is angry

ねぼう して しまった。
I overslept.
Literally: oversleeping + did